Could you tell us about the work you do?

I have a day job like most people, but I’ve spent many years working as an activist within the LGBT+ community. I define myself as non-binary and prefer the pronouns they/them, and my personal experiences have taught me the importance of creating safe spaces for the community that I belong to – spaces of empowerment where we can feel understood and normal. Just being ourselves. A supporting environment to gain strength from. In practical terms, it can look quite different, from my work with a patient organisation that works for better trans-specific health care to more informal gatherings of people in our big living room at home.

What does your daily life at home look like?

On one level, it’s not different at all. We forget to water the plants and struggle to remember if there’s milk in the fridge, like everyone else. But it’s different because we’re three people who decided to live together and have a child together, and we’re also polyamorous, which means that we all have other romantic relationships.

How do you structure your life?

Our lovely child Rio is at the heart of our lives, and we have decided to have a structured approach to parenting. We have a schedule, and each week one of us is the main parent, who’s responsible for taking care of Rio setting the rules for what is allowed. If it’s not my week, I’m free to do whatever I want. I might spend the evening at home with my family, I love that. But I could just as well choose to meet up with friends or go to the gym without pre-planning or discussions.

What kind of reactions do you get from people around you?

We have very seldom had any negative comments about the way we live; the main reaction from people around us is that they envy us being three parents who can share the responsibility! Often, they express feelings of not having enough time for themselves or enough time for their close relationships. For us, being three parents makes it easier to find time for these parts of life as well.

Which difficulties have you had to deal with being three parents?

Even though Sweden is an open and liberal country, you still encounter many obstacles and red tape when you try to create a life that is just a bit out of the norm. To arrange a simple thing like opening a bank account for three adults took us several meetings with different banks. When we wanted to buy an apartment, we realised that we can’t get a mortgage for three people. To be able to share the parental leave days, two of us had to get married and then divorced again. Even a straightforward thing, like accessing Rio’s online school platform, has been surprisingly challenging because we’re three parents.

What does your home look like?

It has taken a long time, but now we have an apartment that’s big enough for all of us to have our own rooms. We have a large living room, and we often have people over for discussions or queer empowerment workshops.

What’s your favourite part of the apartment?

We live in a colourful home with many people, patterns and plants. I love that, and I love our large living room, but in the summertime, my favourite place is the balcony. The apartment is in a tall building, and the view from the balcony is magnificent. In summer, Rio sometimes complains, “Do we have to eat on the balcony tonight again?” And I say, “of course we do.”

What does home mean to you?

I had a chaotic childhood in a challenging environment, and I wanted to create a home that is anything but that. To me, home is a place for rest; a space where I feel safe and comfortable.

Do you feel safe and secure in your home and the area you live in?

I haven’t experienced real insecurity since my childhood, but we live in an area that struggles with organised crime and gun violence here on our street. But I have never felt unsafe here, and to us as parents, it was also important that our child grew up in an area where not everyone comes from the same Swedish middle-class background. I’m fond of and feel a deep connection to this area and the diverse groups of people who live here.

Do you have a special memory connected to the apartment?

Yes, we had a big, beautiful housewarming party when we moved in. There were so many people here. I remember we arranged a competition. Different teams were supposed to make jelly using whatever they could find in the apartment. We laughed so hard and just felt connected to each other, and that’s the energy I love to have in our home.